katamari: stabilizing the megalomaniac since the era of PS2
Today would have been the perfect day to play Katamari if I still had my PS2 before I sold it away for money to buy textbooks for college [*facepalms* wtf was I thinking, priorities what?!]
So let’s say your purple-spandex-wearing father, the King of all Cosmos, has managed to break the sky. As in he accidentally destroyed the universe. Darkness all across the land and all of that jazz. And he needs you to go around rolling a magical ball, katamari, in order to collect anything and everything needed for him to create the universe anew. So you do. You roll that shit around, and it’s SUPER ADHESIVE you see, collecting men, women, children, cows, the Statue of Liberty [nothing is sacred!] until your katamari grows big enough to become a STAR. Then Pops shoots it off into outer space and it explodes into a brand new world. Amazing shit right?
Right.
So back in the day, Katamari was my outlet to vent out all of my frustrations at this cruel, cruel world. Whenever I had an especially bad day, I would get it out and roll the shit out of everything.
Parents being too overbearing – you go after the fucking elementary school and get those fuckers while they’re still trying to work towards a brighter future for themselves. Fuck you, expectations, FUCK YOUUU!
Relationship troubles – you get a nice and big katamari and then roll over the Eiffel Fucking Tower along with all of the cruddy lovebirds inside of it, hell why stop there, build up your katamari and roll up all of Paris, what with it being the romance-monger that it is
People jabbing you w/ their epeens in order to make themselves feel better for their own flaws – you go after the unlucky characters that most resembles them, chase them down into a corner, and roll over them EXTRA SLOWLY, pull back, and DO IT AGAIN, just for good measure
Cloverfield vs Katamari
And if you listen really carefully, you can hear the wee little people actually screaming [tasukete! tasukete!] and see them running for their lives. Mass hysteria ensues as your monstrous katamari of DOOM rolls towards them. Most cathartic shit EVER.
The soundtrack is amazing to boot. Incredibly catchy tunes to roll to while you’re playing God: DiscoxPrince, Everlasting Love
i’d roll that
June 15th, 20088:53 am at
I work so hard to divest myself of my prejudices, and then console games themselves have to go and build those prejudices up again.
June 15th, 200810:58 am at
I laughed at “Whenever I had an especially bad day, I would get it out and roll the shit out of everything.” I don’t know why, perhaps it’s because it’s usually “fuck the shit outta…” but here it’s “roll”, lol. Go eccentric humor.
& I remember seeing previews for this game on Toonami with that robot guy Tom who acted all cool and whatnot, but never really bothered. Actually I was considering selling my ps2 to get a DS for the portability but eh, I probably won’t. I probably won’t ever get a DS, anyway.
June 15th, 20086:34 pm at
Where I come from “rolling somebody” means to rob them. LOL.
I have a DS and play it often. This is because I bought up all the good games a month before Christmas, and played them over my school holidays. Also, the stylus works better for me than most game controls. I sucked at Ocarina of Time, but I have 1337 ninja stylus skillz at Phantom Hourglass. The World Ends With You and Final Fantasy III are my RPG fix when I feel like doing ten minutes of grinding as a break from schoolwork.
I have odd taste in consoles, I’ve always liked the handhelds better than the TV screen consoles because the games are sometimes easier to control and manage.
June 15th, 20086:44 pm at
Just fixing up the new details, but I also forgot to comment on other games I used to use as game therapy:
The Sims 2: Back when I started writing, I had a sort of “Master of Puppets” complex where I would control my characters and their entire fates. Games like The Sims and The Sims 2 were an extension of that megalomania which after watching Stranger than Fiction turned into massive guilt. I still liked to control my Sims, I just didn’t like setting them on fire anymore.
Animal Crossing: Wild World: I used to play this a lot but the real time clock got too demanding. One day when I finish school I’ll restart the game and do it all over again, because it was really fun. Best fishing simulator ever, and you could do heaps of other things like dig for fossils too.
June 16th, 20085:29 am at
My friend bought me Beautiful Katamari for the Xbox 360 for my birthday. I had badly wanted Damacy for the PS2 since we still have one, but alas I could not find a copy near us.
Still Beautiful Katamari had me addicted! And you’re right its a good game to vent your frustrations on. That or I played Streetfighter, kicking the crap out of people on-screen always seemed to help with the anger issues ^-^